Update on the home front

Haven is doing great. She's taking more of her feeds even though you can tell its such hard work for her. Poor little thing. Yesterday morning she took half a feed from me, skipped a feed and slept, then the next two feeds she ate a WHOLE feed! She shocked me! Today she has taken 2 whole feeds in a row, but I can tell its exhausting her so I almost want to let her sleep. :( I know shes getting plenty though because shes pooping and peeing like crazy and I'm pumping right after and on the side that she is nursing theres always way less.

We had a little scare where we thought that she was sick. She had been coughing and sneezing and her nurse pulled a big huge green booger out of her nose. Plus I've been sick with bronchiolitis. I've been masking up but you can only prevent so much by masking up and washing hands. And I've been fighting this for like 2 weeks so the thought of her getting it just makes me sick to my stomach. But the neonatologist came in and did a detailed assessment on her and said she looked just fine. Good thing I'm feeling better but I'm still masking up til I feel 100% better.

Today they've also sent us BACK down to NICU 1 because they just couldnt keep the upstairs open. Our NICU has really rolled out the red carpet for me and literally were keeping NICU 2 open just for me. But now they have discharged so many babies downstairs its a little ridiculous to have 2 NICUs open. Plus their budget doesn't allow it.

It was funny because they were very nervous to tell me so they kept it quiet all morning. I get into the elevator and this dad of twins that was going home asked me if I heard they were sending us all back downstairs. Keep in mind I wanted to pop this guy square in the mouth last night when he was oddling over his twins saying, "THATS RIGHT YOURE JUST POUNDING THIS DOWN. THATS WHY YOURE GOING HOME BECAUSE YOURE A BIG STRONG HEALTHY BOY THAT TAKES ALL HIS FOOD. YOU DONT NEED TO BE HERE ANYMORE." I was like seriously get this dude outta here. WE GET IT YOURE GOING HOME. CONGRADAFREAKINLATIONS. Then this morning he was like, "Oh I feel so guilty that I'm going home before you guys. I feel like we should stay because youre still here." Get lost bucko. You have ZERO class. I mean theres this girl in the corner who is 2 months past her due date. Her kid is so huge that he's over watching baby einsteins and chilling in a swing. Seriously wanna rub it in her face because you spent A WHOLE FLIPPING week in the NICU? Adios amigo. Don't let the door hit your butt on the way out. I let him know that he didn't have to feel bad for us. 3 weeks in the NICU is a sinch compared to the 3 months we spent with Jayda. I hope he felt like an ass.

Ok vent over.

So I call Amy and ask her if the rumor was true and she was like uhhhh I didnt want to tell you but yes. They were planning to come later and break it to you. haha It was hysterical. They were planning an intervention as if I was gonna break down. Honestly I knew it was coming sooner or later because I knew they had only 6 babies downstairs so it was a little ridiculous that they were keeping it open. I'm fine. We're going home soon anyways and I'd rather just stay in one spot instead of worrying about it and going back and forth all the time. Plus it will be nice to have our own room so I dont have to hear people like ass twin dad. And FYI we got our pick of what room we wanted (they knew room 6 was OUT of the question) haha. I love our NICU.

I'm getting excited at the thought of going home but on the other hand I don't want to rush her. I want to make sure she is good and ready to go home. I want to make sure she is eating good, gaining good, and not being over stimulated. I feel like I rushed Jayda out the door and all that led to was being home with a baby that didnt want to eat and having no means to feed her. That is like hell on earth and at that point you are begging for the NG tube back. We're so not going that route again. And I feel like if we were to do just bottles she'd get it faster and we'd go home faster but I'm gonna breastfeed damn it if its the last thing I do. I'll stay longer if I have to. We're gonna figure it out. She's using the nipple shield because its easier for her to latch on but hey I still think its good.

KerryAnn (the LC) said that we will probably have to go home on some bottles just to get her extra calories for her to gain weight but that I would probably want to introduce some bottles so I'm not on a leash for a year anyways. She said that I'm close to getting breastfeeding established and then we can introduce some bottles. She didnt lose anything from yesterday but she didnt gain either (shes up to 4lbs 10oz) so they are bumping her calories to 24 (my breastmilk plus human fortifier) to even it out. But KerryAnn didnt seem to worried about it since its very normal at first. I get anxiety though because this is exactly what happened with Jayda and I dont want to give up on BF this time.

Life is totally crazy of course but we are falling into a routine. Its so hard to fit pumping 8 times a day (yeah freaking right), plus breastfeeding, plus Jayda. My days fly by! Luckily we live 2 minutes away from the hospital. What a lifesaver! I swear by the time I BF her, pump, wash and clean everything its like 1 1/2 hrs til the next feed.

We took Jayda to see her again today and she loved it. She was singing rock-a-bye-baby to her and was patting her and smiling at her. She said I love you so much baby Haven. It was so nice to have my girlies together even for just 5 minutes. And I think Jayda needed that.

Onward and upward!