This Year for Christmas...

This year Christmas was amazing. I remember last year it was so different. We were on our 3rd round of clomid and at that point I didnt think it was going to work, and I was right. I had gotten my hsg that month and a couple days later Chase was in the ER with a major anxiety attack. Then come to find out that ER trip plus the multiple drs vistis he had werent covered by insurance over a technicality. Because he had refilled his anxiety meds a few days before the cut off of the 60 day period to count as a pre-exisiting condition we had to pay everything out of pocket. Upwards to $3,000 that we didnt have. It was just a crappy time and I'm so glad its behind us.

This year it was a complete turn around. I had a brand spanking new chilax baby, Jader bug opening her presents, and a very anxiety free hubby. And just to throw in some extra holiday blessings that $3,000+ bill that we fought a year for was thrown out by our hospital. All we had to cover was $100. Talk about a 360 in every way possible.

This year Chase wasn't a little grinch. He hates Christmas for some reason but this year he went all out. It looks like Christmas threw up all over our house. He is turning around about Christmas now that we have our girlies and Jayda is old enough to understand Christmas.

There was nothing more heartwarming then watching Jayda open gifts all day. Every gift no matter how small she would just beam with excitment and say, "Oh thank you, thank you. I always wanted that!" Or when she hit a prized gift she would cover her mouth with her hands and say, "Oh MY gosh. Oh my gosh!" That little smile never gets old.

This year she kept asking for barbies and a barbie house. She was very specific that she wanted a black barbie. Why I have no idea, but I'm proud my little bug is so culturally diverse. haha

I couldn't help but just bask in this years festivities. We didn't do much but it was great to just chill and be with family. We woke up bright and early (like always) to watch Jayda open presents then we headed over to the inlaws house to open presents there with his whole family. It was a blast and his parents always spoil us. Honestly I could've cared less whether I got any presents at all I was just so happy to be holding my little baby in my arms and watch my jayda bug opening her presents. That was priceless to me and something I was missing last year. It was like that empty hole that was finally filled.

We then went home and hung out there for a bit. Later we went back to the inlaws for dinner and to listen to the nativity story. We were originally planning on going to my parents house but my mom was in urgent care with a lung infection and a nasty cold so we chose to bypass Christmas with them this year. Jayda's gotten 4 things since Havens birth and I'm so over Jayda being sick. So we'll do Christmas when she gets better. Thank heavens for breastfeeding...Haven has been immuned all 4 times!

The day after Christmas we went to Havens 2 month appt which was a mistake since there were kids all over the place puking their eyeballs out. The kid in the next room sounded like she was dying. I was just praying that the dr would come in our room before hers because I just imagined those little germies all over his hands.

She was 8lbs 1oz and a little over 20inches. Shes getting so big! She's been acting a little funny since she got her immunizations though and doesnt want to eat much and has been sleeping like crazy. Hopefully its just a phase because she is usually a piglet. Either that or a growth spurt with how much she is sleeping.

She also has reflux just like her sister (although not nearly to that degree) but since she isnt having any issues growing we decided to hold off medicating her. Its more of a nuisance to us because we have to position her up a lot. She doesnt puke at all (spits up some) and seems to be more of a comfort eater than a refuser so thats good at least. Chase usually takes the 1am feeding to help me sleep since I cant just plop her in bed with me.

We had a blast though for the holidays and feel blessed beyond measure. My heart and prayers go out to the families of those Connecticut victims that had to spend Christmas mourning their little precious ones. I just cannot imagine how bad that hurts and my mind thought of those sweet precious faces a million times on Christmas day.

I also forgot to post my "Still Standing" articles from the past two months. I mentioned awhile ago that I started writing for a fertility and baby loss magazine called, "Still Standing". I feel completely honored to write for them and its been quite theraputic to write about my experiences. Here they are.

http://stillstandingmag.com/2012/11/what-infertility-during-pregnancy-means-to-me/ (I wrote this one a few days before Haven was born. Talk about coincidence. Oh how niave I was. I thought I'd already won the preemie battle. http://stillstandingmag.com/2012/12/dealing-with-ignorance/