Closure

Today was a great day. I got a lot of answers that I've had for 11 months now. It's hard to explain how emotionally difficult it is to deliver a baby 3 months early and not know exactly why it happened and why your body failed. I've gone through so many scenarios and always left with questions. I didn't really worry about finding the answers until now because I was more worried about Jayda and how she was doing and progressing.

One of my BBC preemie moms who delivered at 25 weeks around the same time as me went into a high risk doctor to talk about her pregnancy and she said it gave her many answers and closure. I wanted that so bad! So I decided even though we are not trying to concieve and won't be for a year I wanted to get some closure and possibly answers.

So I scheduled an appointment with a high risk doctor Dr. Chaumlers who was there the first week of the beginning of the nightmare of my life: hospital bedrest. There was a certain auro about him I just can't explain. He's an amazing doctor and person.

When he walked in he instantly recognized me even though its been a year since I have seen him. He remember exactly what week she was delivered and things about my case I didn't expect him to remember. That tells me he cares about each one of his patients.

First question was pretty obvious: Why did I deliver early?

So he whips out a piece of paper and draws three diagrams of the lady parts. :P He said there are 3 reasons women deliver early. 1. Incompetent cervix 2. Preterm labor 3. PPROM (water breaking prematurely).
The first, he said, was not me since I came in with a strong cervix and no dialation. The second was not me either since he said most times its genetic and I have no family history of it. Plus he thinks the reason I went into labor was because my water broke. So I would be the third, PPROM. He said of all the three this is the best one to have because with incompetent cervix the risk of a preemie is extremely high. With preterm labor its 30% (15% if you take the progesterone shots) and 5% with PPROM. So a drastic difference.

Since Jayda was born with jejunal web (an intestinal blockage) he said that my body or her body put me into labor. A lot of times when women have a baby that has any abnormality the risk of PPROM is much higher. This can happen to anyone and is typically random so the chances of it happening again are much lower.

BUT he is going to take all precautions anyway. He said that these are the things that will help me go further next time and he will help me do:

-wait 2 years to try to concieve
-come right in when I am pregnant
-take progesterone shots weekly starting at 16weeks
-check for vaginal infections frequently
-watch me closely
-give medications to stop contractions if necessary
-modified bed rest at 20 weeks at least past the critical period
-schedule c-section at 36-37 weeks to avoid risk of uterine rupture

So today has been a good day and I look to the future to have a healthy full term baby! I don't think I'll know what to do with a take home baby! Finally I feel I can leave the past in the past and move on. I have a beautiful daughter out of this past hell year but I realize how lucky I am because some moms don't walk away with anything. I try to remember that I was one of the very lucky ones and I thank Heavenly Father so much for watching over my baby and letting me take her home!