So for awhile there I was pretty obsessed with TTC. I charted, read about ovulation and stalked ovulation charts, worried about my ovulation, worried about EVERYTHING. Well I had many people tell me the classic lines every infertile hears at some point "just let it happen" "let God be in control" "it will happen when it is supposed to" "the minute you stop trying it will happen for you".....well sorry folks that didn't work. I gave your "theories" a shot since March and guess what? It didn't work...so you can stick that in your back pocket.
One thing I believe in and always have is that God is in control but that you have to be in action. He isn't just going to hand things over like a piece of candy. Some people have to work hard at it. Bravo to you though that you got pregnant after the first shot. You're such a WOMAN Congrats...but it isnt that way for me. Chase and I are finally at that place where we are very serious about adding to our family. There is something wrong I just don't know what it is. I can sit here and pray and pray for it to change but without action I'm not expecting God all of a sudden to make it better. He doesn't work that way.
In a few weeks we will have hit our one year mark of trying to get pregnant. I can't say I am suprised because deep down I knew something was wrong at 6 months but maybe now I will be taken a little more serious from people and my doctor. I discovered a little bump on my cervix back in March but read that it was normal and should go away in one of my infertility books. But last night I checked my cervix again since we have been charting this month again and the bump is still there. Then last night I started spotting on CD 15 (yipee!) but I spotted out some wierd balls of tissue looking things. That can't normal. One of my preemie mom friends who had infetility issues with her first mentioned awhile back that maybe I have endometriosis but I never made an appt to see. Since I have a family history of it I'm thinking its a possibility.
So today I called to make an appt with my OB since my annual pap is coming up anyways and they didn't have an appt open until August 10th...which is fine but you better bet I'm gonna really be asking a lot of serious questions. And no I am not just going to "throw some clomid at it". I really want him to take me seriously about seeing about the endo and even ask for an HSG to check for blockages in my tubes. Then if all those things check out fine then I will finally try the clomid. But I'm over the "just letting it happen". I deserve to add to my family if I sure as heck want to. I'm not waiting around anymore for it. So here I jump head first.....