Thursday, June 23, 2011

Happy birthday to my sweet sister Candy!

So many of you may not know that I have an older sister named Candice (Candy) who died before I was born. She was almost 4 years old when she died from a brain tumor. They had thought she was in remission after she got radiation and her brain scans showed nothing at all, but it came back "smarter" and instead of coming as one big mass it branched out throughout her brain so that a mass didn't show up on the scans. One night she came down with a bad fever and my mom took her to the doctor who said it was probably just a virus. After the fever didn't get better she took her tot he doctor again and eventually made their way to the hospital. They left her for the night because the doctors said that she would be fine and that she was stable. But later that night they got a call that she had slipped into a coma. When they got to the hospital they didn't think it was THAT bad because the nurse inside her room was laughing and joking (as they were drilling her head to release all the built up fluid). Thats when the doctor came out and said death was iminent and asked if they wanted her organs donated. Horrible bedside manner to say the least. She died the next day. They did donate her organs and she saved a little boys life (i forget which organ...I think it was her liver), she donated her corneas and gave a doctor his eyesight back. I couldn't ever imagine having to donate my childs organs. No parent should ever have to do that.

 It was all so sudden for them. They thought their baby girl was ok but didnt find out until later in the autopsy that the cancer had spread out in branches instead. Ever since having Jayda I can more fully appreciate how hard it would be to lose a child....especially with how close we came to losing her. I can't imagine going through all of that especially with my mom being pregnant during her treatment and having a newborn (my sister Becky) during the passing of your daughter. My parents are so strong and I know that we will see Candy again someday.

When I was little I remember asking about Candy all the time. I cherish the times that my mom and I would sit and talk about her for hours. I would ask her all kinds of questions because I so badly wanted to have my sister even if I hadn't met her in this lifetime. Candy was the biggest of my moms babys and she thinks she would be the tallest out of all of us if she had lived. My brother Chris and her were irish twins. Only a year and a month apart exactly. They were best buddies and when Candy died my brother came home and destroyed his room because he was so angry. He still has a hard time with it and just a couple years ago when we were talking about her he started sobbing. I had never seen him like that before or even talk much about Candy at all, but her passing really afffected him. Candy loved to sing and she loved her picture of Jesus. My mom said she was the most caring, kind, and selfless little girl ever. One time she told my mom that she was afraid to die. I couldn't imagine hearing those words from your 4 year old daughter. She loved her cabbage patch doll and carried it around with her all the time.

Even though Candy is gone I know we will all see her again someday. I know she comes and comforts us when we are in need. I truely believe that our deceased loved ones help us through hard situations that we can't do on our own. I know Candy was there helping Jayda during the NICU. I feel like on some level she could relate to being small and in the hospital being poked and prodded. She was by far the best person to help comfort her. I want to thank her for that because I truely don't think without her help we could have done it.

Yesterday Candy would have turned 31 years old. I bet she was celebrating in heaven with all our other family! Happy birthday Candy! We love you!

Heres a poem that my dad posted on facebook yesterday and it hangs on my parents wall at home next to a picture of her and her shadow box.

Little Hands held in mine-Sweet tender touch! So brief the time. Thy gift of love was given me, before those hands returned to Thee. Dear Savior, hear my heartfelt prayer. Keep them safe within Thy care, Until the time Thy gift can be-Those little hands restored to me.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing Ashley, what a hard thing for a family to go through! I think it's so neat that we can count on our loved ones in Heaven to comfort us and our children when we need it, and to watch out for us.