I've never wrote down her birth story with all the details I can rememeber. So here it goes!
Two years ago today I woke up in the morning on my 12th day of hospital bed rest. Immediately upon waking I saw the little white board on the bathroom door hanging and it already read 6-6-09- 26weeks 4days. Right away I knew it wasn't going to be a good day. It was almost the devils number except for the 9 was upside down. I thought to myself I just want this day to go faster and in fact I even erased the 26weeks 4 days and replaced it with a 5. In my mind it was already the next day....so close to 27 weeks I could taste it. I still consider her 26 weeks and 5 days because I delivered her 30 min shy of day 5 so I just give it to me anyways. Its amazing how one day to a preemie mom means everything. :D
I got my little pregnancy day by day book out from my little side table and read the entry for that day. Most women didn't have to do that on hospital bedrest but I had already figured out pretty quickly my situation wasn't like most.
I picked up the phone and dialed to order my breakfast. Sadly, ordering food was the highlight of my day. The one thing that was great about hospital bedrest was the FOOD! It was amazing! My nurse walked in and greeted me for the day. I had an indifference to this nurse. Some days she was *on* and somedays she was WAY off. The first time she was my nurse my impression was that she was mean but one day we started chatting about "The Bachelorette". It was Jillian's season and she said her favorite was Jake. That should have been my first clue that this lady wasn't all there if you know what I mean.
Chase came later to hang out with me since it was a Saturday and he didn't have work. He hated being there since it was so boring but it really was the highlight of my day and lemme tell ya there were so many little things I looked forward to...like a shower! My mom came and joined us and chatted for a bit. I felt a little uncomfortable because I had been sitting up for too long since I had just gotten done eating lunch. I laid on my side and felt like I could drift back to sleep at any given moment. I switched positions right as my mom decided to go and literally as soon as the door clicked shut. POP goes my water and I freeze like a deer in headlights.
Chase: "What's wrong?"
Me: "Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Get the nurse in here right now! My water just broke and I'm all wet."
Then I fly into hysterics. The nurse walks in as if she just arrived at tea time with her sunday brunch buddies.
Nurse: "That's OK we were expecting this, its completely normal. I was just helping the lady down the hall and she just had one of these epidsodes and she is eating lunch now. It will be OK."
Normal? NORMAL? ohhh ok note to self water breaking at 26 weeks totally normal. Gotcha. I'll remember that next time! Silly me for freaking out. Of course that was my intial reaction but now I know she was just trying to keep me calm.
So in my frensy and my water continuing to gush out I asked to be able to sit on the toilet. So we took me along with all my monitors still hooked up and lets just say all my pride out the window. Before this I had never let Chase see me on the toilet because it was too wierd. After that I didn't give a damn!
So after I was done I lifted my gown and saw my stomach. There was nothing left. It looked like I had a little beer belly and that was about it. It freaked me out! I told Chase, we are having this baby today and she is going to be small. The ultrasound confirmed my worries, only 2cm of water left so my belly that I had before was just fluid.
Shortly after, the pain started coming and I knew it was over. The doctor came in and asked me the question that I hate the most, "What is your pain like on a scale of 1 to 10?" How the heck am I supposed to know what constitutes for a 10? I sure as heck wasn't feeling like those ladies I see on "The Baby Story" where they are screaming in pain, but it wasn't normal. He decided to check me to see if I had dialated and luckily I wasn't but I was 75% effaced which had gone from 50% 12 days prior. Not to shabby if you ask me. But it still didn't convince me that everything was ok. I think moms just know when its over because it was a completely different feeling than when I initially came in.
So the doctor didn't really think I was going into labor and said that even if I did then he wouldn't stop it because it meant that the baby was trying to say that it was too toxic of an environment. Didn't help too much with my ego when he said my uterus was a "toxic" environment for my unborn child. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. They gave me some light pain meds, told me to stay calm.....riiiiiight let me get right on that....and that he wouldn't check me again unless it was absolutely dire.
Even with the pain meds I was still in pain and knew it was contractions. The lovely nurse didn't believe me because the "monitor" didn't pick it up....yeah thats because my uterus is smaller than your stupid monitors to even fit on it! So she left me there in pain pretty much telling me that it was all in my head and that I was being dramatic. I was so glad when 6 rolled around and she wasn't my nurse anymore. I bet she felt like an idiot the next day when she found out I had delivered although a few days later I saw her and she said she wasn't suprised....well then why didn't you freaking believe me crazy lady?!? But they were short on nurses so instead of getting another nurse I didn't see anyone for like 2 hours even after I pushed the call button. Again...that warm and fuzzy feeling.
As irony would have it the same exact nurse that was there when I came in initially was going to be my nurse. I still remember her name it was Kristen. Luckily for me she knew I knew what being in labor felt like even though the monitors weren't picking them up. She said that she was going to give me Nubang (that wonderful pain med that made me feel like a cloud the first day I came in). She said if Nubang didn't do anything to take my pain away then I was probably going to have her tonight. The pain didn't go away...but did take the edge off. At that point I was counting contractions every 3-4 minutes or so. We called everyone and told them this was probably it. My inlaws came for a bit and sat with me trying to comfort me although as anyone that is in active labor knows your just not in the mood to smile, laugh, and joke. So they left and Chase was with me. He thought I was being dramatic too...you'd think he'd learn to listen to me. :D I also remember my other nurse that was there when I came in the first day, her name was Julie. She came in and talked to me even though she wasn't my nurse. I still love her to this day. I see her ALL the time around town and give her a big hug everytime I see her. She had her baby at 33 weeks so she knows some of the feelings involved.
They also had someone from the NICU come in and say they were all ready to go in case I delivered that night. That made me feel better to know that someone was taking me seriously. They were updated every 12 hours on the cases of the antepatrum patients and since there was just a shift change they knew it was possible that I could deliver.
So I started to feel more pain and pressure. I told my nurse that I didn't feel good about this. She said that she had been begging my Dr. (Dr. Karvord...cant spell his name for the life of me). to come and check me, but he didn't want to check me again because of the risk of infection. I told my nurse that I wanted her to call my original OB Dr. Cain because I knew I was going to deliver and knew that I wanted him there. She seemed suprised that I asked to call him since he was no longer on my case. She asked "Do you think he would want me to call him?" And I said "YES I'm sure he would like to know." He had been such a good dr and called me every now and then or came in whenever he could when he was at the hospital to check up on me. Finally Dr. K came to the hospital for something else (or so the nurse told me) and the nurse finally convinced him to check me. So at this point it was about 11:15pm or so. He came in check me and said "Opp...thats a hand or a foot we gotta go right now." Her poor little legs were so bruised later on because they were hanging down there for so long. Poor little thing. After her said that I think I went into shock. Chase had to be woken up...yeah we won't talk about that...and we were off.
I felt like I was floating. This wasn't real. This was a horrible dream and I had to wake up from it. Then all of a sudden I remember getting my spinal while bending over bawling on a nurse's shoulder. Then I saw the anethesiaologist, Dr. Cain rushing in giving me this pitiful look, and Dr. K putting on his gown. I laid down and didn't know whether to smack or hug my anethesiaologist. He almost seemed excited, like he was glad he was there for this one. It was like my daughter was going to be the freak show that everyone wanted to see. But his cheery attitude was a good gesture in helping me stay positive. I was dreading the next moments that I had been trying to hold off for the last 12 days. The moments where they tell me she is going to die or that they were able to save her. The dr. forgot to tell me when she was born or something because I had to keep asking "Is she here yet? Is she here yet?" I thought I saw her being taken away in a towel by a nurse but the problem was that I didn't see any baby in the towel. And the fact that I didn't hear a congrats your a parent or a cry I didn't think that was a good sign. Most parents can hear a cry and know that they are parents but I had to ask my anethesiaologist if my daughter was alive. This was the point I wanted to hug him. He said "Didn't you hear her crying? She is fighting them so hard! That is a really good sign!"
These next moments were super blurry. All I remember next was being taken in to recovery and Dr. Cain coming over and chatting with me and telling me how good she looked. Finally Chase came and showed me pictures that he took of her. I guess he had a little episode and kinda went into shock and the nurses had to help him. I of course missed the whole thing but he said he was with her and that helped me a lot. The pictures were scary but precious at the same time. This was the first picture of her I saw and the first time I saw her face...well what parts of her face I could see.
All I remember was Dr. Miner the neonatologist being so sweet and so positive about her situation. He kept pointing out all the positives about the situation, her skin looked great, she cried before he intubated her, she fought him tooth and nail. I asked several questions that I ended up asking again the next day again. I was so out of it that I didn't even remember asking him anything. He just laughed and said "Well I answered all these questions yesterday but I'll answer them again." He was such a sweet caring doctor. I was so appreciative that he was there her whole NICU stay and moved after she was just about to go home. I always regret not getting any pictures of him though. : (.
Her birth story may not be story book but its ours. Although I never want to go through that again it makes her story special which is very fitting because she is such a special person. Happy birthday little girl!