Friday, August 26, 2011

My Mountain is Bigger than your Mountain

After having Jayda I have to say I compared myself to others a lot...mainly other moms. From the outside I felt I had the worst situation compared to those around me. I had a sick baby that required intensive care and I felt like my "normals" were stolen away from me. I was sitting in a NICU room staring at a 1 1/2lb baby all the while watching pregnant NICU nurses' big bellys push up against my baby's incubator. I just felt so cheated. I remember I used to just chuckle when a mom would try to compare her 34 weeker who spent 2 weeks in the NICU to my 26 weeker who hadn't even broken 2lbs yet. How dare they!

Although I will still argue they are vastly different journeys I've come to a conclusion. We all have our mountains to climb in life. Some are straight up with not a lot of give or handholds, but have an amazing view once you look out. Some are pretty smooth but have parts that are difficult and require help. Regardless of what your mountain looks like, comparing mountains won't make yours any easier to climb.

But we're human. It's human nature to take the woe is me card. To feel like others don't understand. I used to be very bitter whenever I would hear a pregnant woman complain about their pregnancy. Irrate. But in these last couple years I've learned that my anger isn't going to change their perspective and ignorance truely is bliss.

And here I was comparing mountains when in fact I didn't realize that some of the ones that looked easy at first had parts of difficulty that weren't in my field of vision. That was only something that the person climbing had to endure. And sometimes maybe thats even have to climb something so difficult and not have any acknowledgment for the endurance you've had to show.

While other mountains that I had previously judged as "easier" had parts that were so rigorous I had never known someone to climb with such strength. Who was I to judge another, especially someones mountain that I had never even stepped foot on?

Focusing on my mountain is what will get me further. And even if my mountain is harder or bigger than the little hills it seems others have, in the end the view is just that much more breathtaking.


  1. so true ash! I used to feel the same way as well, and sometimes still do - especially when other people complain about their "babies not sleeping, blah, blah, blah..." what a great post though!

  2. Beautifully written and exactly the kind of post I needed to cheer me up.

  3. Very true, while I would gladly trade circumstances with some people I always feel that they still have the right to complain if something is hard for them. I think it's just human nature, and it can be good for our subconscious to let out some of those frustrations sometimes no matter how blessed they are to have whatever is causing them.

    Everyone definitely has trials and struggles, and they all handle it differently. Even people who don't appear to be going through anything have things going on people don't know about. I guess the best thing is just to be Christlike and try to help our neighbor whether we think they need it or not.