After having Jayda I have to say I compared myself to others a lot...mainly other moms. From the outside I felt I had the worst situation compared to those around me. I had a sick baby that required intensive care and I felt like my "normals" were stolen away from me. I was sitting in a NICU room staring at a 1 1/2lb baby all the while watching pregnant NICU nurses' big bellys push up against my baby's incubator. I just felt so cheated. I remember I used to just chuckle when a mom would try to compare her 34 weeker who spent 2 weeks in the NICU to my 26 weeker who hadn't even broken 2lbs yet. How dare they!
Although I will still argue they are vastly different journeys I've come to a conclusion. We all have our mountains to climb in life. Some are straight up with not a lot of give or handholds, but have an amazing view once you look out. Some are pretty smooth but have parts that are difficult and require help. Regardless of what your mountain looks like, comparing mountains won't make yours any easier to climb.
But we're human. It's human nature to take the woe is me card. To feel like others don't understand. I used to be very bitter whenever I would hear a pregnant woman complain about their pregnancy. Irrate. But in these last couple years I've learned that my anger isn't going to change their perspective and ignorance truely is bliss.
And here I was comparing mountains when in fact I didn't realize that some of the ones that looked easy at first had parts of difficulty that weren't in my field of vision. That was only something that the person climbing had to endure. And sometimes maybe thats even harder...to have to climb something so difficult and not have any acknowledgment for the endurance you've had to show.
While other mountains that I had previously judged as "easier" had parts that were so rigorous I had never known someone to climb with such strength. Who was I to judge another, especially someones mountain that I had never even stepped foot on?
Focusing on my mountain is what will get me further. And even if my mountain is harder or bigger than the little hills it seems others have, in the end the view is just that much more breathtaking.