Friday, March 16, 2012

Growing Up Is Hard To Do

As the weather heats up and the winter clothes are packed away I really came to realize just how little Jayda is. There is this one shirt that Jayda has been wearing for literally over 2 years. It made me teary eyed to look at Jayda as a bald little baby. I'm so baby hungry starving it's ridiculous. And today it hit me that I really don't have a baby anymore. She'll be three in less than 3 months. I've been a sobbing mess all night long thinking about what that means.

This morning she woke up and refused to wear a diaper. She peed on the potty 4 times and had one accident in her Minnie panites. She said "uh oh I peed. Too late" and then covered it with her blanket.  She would walk around naked with her knees together yelling, "PEE IS COMING!!" and waddle over to the toilet. She had to get up on the toilet herself and insists on putting toilet paper in the toilet before she pees and then after. Miss little independent. Has a mind of her own. Hmm wonder where she gets it?

I was in the kitchen making breakfast and I hear that familiar little tinkle and realized she was doing it all on her own. I said to her, "Are you sure you want to pee on the potty?" But she is just determined to pee on that damn potty. I hope tomorrow she changes her the last 4 times I thought she was ready. Big phew :) I'm just not ready to completely let go of my baby. I know that as she is growing up and starting to sass me that my bald baby now with curly long stringy hair is disappearing and another one won't appear for awhile. That hurts more than anything. Having that "dropped stomach" feeling daily. Not so much fun (I know poor ole miss infertile pants). :)

It's all a bag of mixed emotions. I love seeing her grow and progress. I love how independent she is.I love that I'm not one of those moms that practically force the piss out of their kids to show off to their friends that their golden child is peeing by themselves "so" early. Here I am wanting her not to but scared that I don't want to hold her back from growing up. Boy do I have issues! Sad that my kid won't be wearing diapers.
Panties are so overrated.

Here's the picture progression of Jayda's poor little USED shirt. There are some shirts and pants that I got at my BABYshower and they STILLdon't fit her. Maybe when she goes to kindergarten. Oh man...kindergarten.*sobs*
May 2010 - 11 months old /8 months adjusted

October 2010 16 months actual /13 adjusted

March 2012- almost 3 years
Even if its just us three for now, I love this time with my family. I love that I hear laughs instead of silence. That I can tickle little feet whenever I please. That I can get loves and kisses every monring. My blessings are truely plentiful. I know that.

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