Wierd Fashion Trends -Top 10

Ok since my last post was very doom and gloom I have to do a more fun one! Today in my class I noticed a girls shoe and it got me thinking about fashion trends I just have never understood. So I thought it would be funny to go through and list some of them.

1. Pointed shoes. You draw arrows not wear them.

2. Leg Warmers. We should have left those in the 80's.

3. Jesus Sandals. Seriously I would feel like a burly man wearing these.

4. Hippie Headbands. Maybe its because an Olsen twin is wearing it. Nahh probably not.

5. Big Furry Boots with Big Balls attached.

 Need I say more?








6. Forcing your baby to wear flower headbands that are bigger than their face.

7. Shorts with Leggings

8. Baggy shirts as a dress. Notice two of the pics so far are of an Olsen twin. Co-inc-idink? I think not.

9. Animal Beanies...disclaimer I think its ok for kids just not adults.

10. The Bump Hair Style thats a rat could live in.

That was fun.

Bitter

Bitter feelings. It's the worst. You don't want to hang onto something that just isn't worth it. It eats you up inside and a lot of times the person you are bitter against doesn't even know it or even care.

Easier said than done.

Going through a micropreemie you really see who your true friends are. You see the people that you know want to say something to you but they just don't know how to say it or say the wrong thing and know it. Infertility has kinda been the same but still pretty different. When I had Jayda there was no denying her as a baby. People couldn't really not mention her because after all she was still my baby and she was still in existence. But when you have infertility its like you have an invisible baby. It hurts like hell when the lack of the baby isn't acknowledged but sometimes you just aren't in the mood to go down that road. Its a catch 22 really and really there is no way to win. I'll say it though:

I hate preaching. I hate when people tell me not to stress, leave it to God, let it happen, it'll happen eventually. I hate when people tell me they know how I feel when you know they really don't. That doesn't help a bit.

Fact is it hurts like hell when you support someone through everything...all the happy times and hard times even when it hurts to support them. It just hurts so much when people act like it isn't a big deal or when they just flat out don't say a thing. It's almost like a loss. As bizarre as it sounds every month when I produce an egg and it doesn't work out its almost like a loss for me. Such a good egg gone to waste. Dead even though it was never alive.

It hurts so bad to see someone that you view as your best friend for years just completely shut you out when I have gone out of my way to support her. I traveled to see all her babies. Gone to baby showers. Called her to ask her about how her pregnancy was going even when I would cry as soon as I got off the phone. And when I needed her most all she has said is "I'm sorry." Me: "For what?" Her: "Well you know...your uterus problems. You'd be suprised how many people have....problems....with....their...uhhhh uterus. That sucks." And that was it. The phone calls stopped. The subject avoided. Never brought up again. That hurts more than anything. More than anything. And the funny thing is she is so self absorbed that she doesn't even realize it. It's like I'm not even worth the time.

Lucky I have some great freinds that have stuck by me and sadly most of them are ones that have been down this road. At least I have a happy place for when I am having a rough day. I can't imagine not having a place to vent during the rough days. Luckily I have the best hubby in the world that has been there for me through everything even when I'm on clomid and want to kick him in the gonads.

My new favorite recipe site!! www.wholefoodmommies.com

I want to try this recipe so bad! I just saw it on the morning news of all places. I went to the website called http://www.wholefoodmommies.com/ and its my new favorite website. I want to try so many things on there! Check it out!

Creamy Chocolate Pudding


2/3 cup of semi-sweet choc chips (look for a brand that is dairy-free like Guittard or Ghiradelli)
1/2 cup of Almond milk (I prefer the vanilla)
1 baked yam (after it's been cooled, peel removed)
1 avocado, peel and seed removed
2 TBS pure maple syrup, optional

Melt the chocolate chips and then combine all of the ingredients into a high-powered blender. Pulse until smooth. Pour into a prepared pie crust (I love the graham crust) or simply eat it by itself. Let it refrigerate for about 30 minutes to let it set up.

Then I saw another one just right below it that looks even better! I'm not a big Tofu fan so that is a little strange but I'd be willing to try it.
 
Chocolate Peanut Butter Pie


2/3 cup of semi-sweet choc chips (look for a brand that is dairy-free like Guittard or Ghiradelli)
1/2 cup of Almond milk (I prefer the vanilla)
1/2 cup peanut butter
12 oz Silken Tofu, drained
1 TBS vanilla
2 TBS pure maple syrup, optional

Melt the chocolate chips and then combine all of the ingredients into a high-powered blender. Pulse until smooth. Pour into a prepared pie crust (My kids love the mini graham crusts that come 6 to a package). Let it refrigerate for about 30 minutes to let it set up.

These are decadently rich, and no one would know they are made with TOFU!

11-11-11

Definatly a lucky date for us.

1. We moved out into our new place and couldn't love it more!
2. I ovulated so if we did in fact conceive (fat chance I'm sure) it will have been on 11-11-11. But man if we get pregnant this month then I will be due within days of when I was due with my miscarriage. Then if we get pregnant next month we will have the same due date we did with Jayda. Creepy. We concieved Jayda on our 1 year anniversary (12-15-08) so who knows maybe we just need a cool date to make a baby. :D Don't you just love how TMI I am.

By the way....moving while you are ovulating on clomid is b-r-u-t-a-l. I felt like my ovaries were going to burst into flames. I was cramping so bad I was bent over in pain. Then when I would lift up a box I felt like I was a chicken plopping out eggs. :o)

So now we are all moved in except we have to organize a few more things and hang things up. I'm so excited to decorate our house. I haven't decorated our own place for awhile and I'm excited to have all my stuff back in one spot. My inlaws were great and it was great to as my father in law said "catch your breath" but we definatly needed to be out on our own. Now I'm just exhausted and want to take a nap.

But man I love that its just us 3 now. Our own little family.

Yup, nothing like sagging Dora. Ohhhhh yeah.

So......drum roll please.....

....got my first EVER positive OPK test! I've never gotten a + ever even the month I got pregnant with Jayda. I just figured this cycle I would try it since what else did I have to lose and boobang. That means we got 12-48hrs to get on that crap.

And the real kicker.....

We're moving tomorrow. Awesome. But we're talented like that. Like Tim Gunn says "Make it work" and we will. It just seems like there is always something going on RIGHT on the day I ovulate. Last month we were driving home from Disneyland and now this month we're moving. Ugh. Whatever.

On a side note...Jayda is having a blast playing with all the boxes. She "set up camp" and brought her blanket and pillow and just sat in there watching her favorite show Team Umizoomi. Just <3 her.

Yes.... she is in that box. Silly Bum.

We got a hand. She kept putting her face up against it and gave Chase a kiss through it. Shes crazy.

Mommy and Daughter Cupcake Time

Today I was craving sweets so I decided to make cupcakes with Jayda. She had such a blast helping me make them and she felt like such a big girl. I love my little munchkin SO much!

Breaking the egg and seperating the egg whites

Miss J helping me stir

"dumping" the water in

And of course the best part of all. Licking the spoon.

"Cheeeeeese"

Eating the yummy cupcake

November--Just Another Cause

So in the past few days I have noticed my preemie mom friends posting facts and pictures of their babies in the NICU for November Preemie Awareness Month. This year I've decided not to do that since I felt like last year when I did I was kinda "preaching to the choir" a little bit...if that makes sense. I think after people hear you preach about a certain cause they tend to tune you out. Unfortunate, but its just human nature to be egocentric in that regard. I don't think its out of spite though. It's interesting in my Psych of Morality class to learn about empathy and how people are more empathetic when they could see themselves easily in that situation. For example, when I was pregnant there was this girl that worked right by me that was due a day before me. When I had Jayda she requested to be my friend on facebook. She commented on all my pictures and status updates. But when she had her baby she never commented on any of my things. She had her baby safely here so it wasn't applicable to her anymore. Again, not out of spite...we all do it. We all pity things but then turn around and say "welp glad it wasn't me".

Instead....this year I'm excited to be a part of the Jubilee of Trees for the NICU thats held on November 17-21. One of the NICU nurses messaged me on Facebook awhile back and asked if I wanted Jayda to be the representative baby for the year 2009. They are spotlighting a baby from every year since the beginning of the NICU (I think its 2003) to raise money for the NICU. Of course I said yes! So they wanted some pictures of Jayda now and so she got a photo shoot the other day at the hospital. There were some super cute pictures! They are going to show pictures of her in the NICU and then she is going to be on a 6ft banner of a current picture (she said I could have the banner when they are done with it! Yessss).

Yesterday she sent me an email asking me some questions about the NICU and I pretty much bawled the whole time writing out my answers. Whenever I think about the NICU I just get all teary eyed because there are some very sad memories but also some of the happiest I think I'll ever have. When I think of the staff there in the NICU I just get such an awesome feeling. Is it sick that I sometimes miss the NICU and just want to go back to just hang out like I used to minus the critically sick baby? It's such an amazing feeling being in the NICU, almost like you are sacred ground. So many miracles occuring everyday. Its something I never wished to be apart of (no one does) but now that I'm in the "club" I wouldn't change the experiences and people I've met for the world.

Micropreemie Sunbathing

Precious tiny feet.

I love this picture. Just enough to show the vulnerability but at the same time the strength of these little fighters.

It's amazing now to look down at my hand and see that her head didn't even fit completely in it. As you can tell my hospital bracelet was still on. I refused to take it off the entire 3 months Jayda was there. I had to get it replaced 2 times and it was hanging by a thread by the end but gosh dang it I was not taking that bracelet off without her home in my arms.

Yes that is Chase's wedding ring and finger. Such a precious little babe.