I will admit. I am a control freak. Sometimes I think God likes to test me by putting or letting situations happen to me that test my ability to trust in others or even God himself. That's such a hard thing for me to do because I'm a "get in there and do it myself" type of person. Situations with Jayda being born so early, her issues with eating, and now trying to get pregnant always seem to leave me helpless and not being able to control anything about it. So I've come to that point in the last week or so that I am "giving up the reins" so to speak and just letting it happen.
At the end of the day I'm still a control freak though so I HAVE to control some aspect of my life. I mean cmon, right? So the two things that I am going to really focus my energy on besides my family of course is
1. exercising and staying fit
2. school and finishing my degree!
That last one makes me super excited because after several major changes and really not knowing what direction I wanted to go I now am without a doubt going into something I am passionate about. It's funny how your life experiences shape who you are and what you will become. Before I had Jayda, I knew I wanted to go into social work but didn't know at all what I wanted to do with it. Now I know without a doubt that I want to either be a social worker at a Children's Hospital or be a caseworker at an adoption agency since I believe in adoption so much and want to actually adopt a child one day.
I was signing up for classes today because I am a senior!! Yipee! I took the pludge and decided what the heck...I'm just going to double up on classes and just get it done! I am taking 1 or 2 classes this summer (I still have to see if one will actually count and will be worth taking) and then I am going to take 4 classes in the fall. I have 11 total classes to take. So if I really haul butt and just get her done then I could possibly be done in the Spring or Summer of next year!!
And another cool thing. I talked to our social worker at the NICU at our last NICU reunion and we talked breifly about me doing an internship over at the hospital!! I need to call and chat with her again to make sure but that would be SO awesome. I would be able to learn and talk to other parents going through some of the same things I have personally been through. How awesome would that be?!! What a dream job that would be! Can't wait to be done with school though...although I still want to get my Masters though. Ekkkk!