Life is Changing...

....ok from the title it sounds like I'm going through menopause. haha not quite....

So I haven't really blogged about difficulties my husband and I are having in regards to his job. So about 3-4 months ago he got the news that his branch was closing down (he is an Assistant Manager over at State Bank of Southern Utah) so everyone was pretty much going to lose their jobs (except Ember of course since she is prego and has the FLMA laws to protect her....lucky dog hehe). So its been a stressful few months trying to figure everything out. He's applied everywhere and has heard nothing back. It's hard all around. Three people are going to lose their jobs and none of them have found anything. Chase deals with really bad anxiety anyways so it didn't help matters much. I was able to use some of my therapies on him that I've learned in some of my classes (hehe go psychology!) and I think that along with a prescription of SSRI's he's done much better. I'm really trying to work on getting him to release and tell me whats going on because he has a tendency to hold things in and then wait til its too much to take and just BURSTS.....thats not healthy at all and I think it's a huge contribution to why he is so anxious all the time. He's been doing better though with it but its a daily struggle.

So there's still that cloud of doubt hanging around saying .....hmmm are you gonna have a job when all of this is said and done? Part of me thinks that is why we aren't pregnant yet...because it really is just a bad time. I will admit that. The time sucks so maybe Heavenly Father does know what he is doing after all. :) We never want to admit that of course and I guess this is why I haven't talked about it before now because I just knew it wasn't right. Wierdly (is that even a word?) I have felt so much peace this month and really haven't been having a hard time seeing pregnant people anymore. In fact I offered to throw one of my best friends a baby shower and didn't feel wierd about it at all! Maybe thats just because I love her and she's so unselfish and cares deeply what others are feeling and rarely thinks about herself! :D

But anyways... so one day we got really lucky. So I went to my IL's house the other day to use their printer to print off some stuff for Jayda's invitations but their printer was broken so we went down the street to some family friends and used theirs. Chase was talking to Glen (the dad) since he used to work for him before we got married and asked how his business was going. He said that it was pretty slow but that he had a big job coming up. Chase kinda jokingly said he would help him and then Glen said ok...sure. We were like really?? Because he did get paid really good with that job before. So it turns out he only needs him for this big job coming up that would only last a month but he would be getting paid double (maybe even more) what he makes in a month now. Sooo that would give us a little leeway for him to find something else and Glen said he could work for him part time so at least its something! Plus he gets to cash out his 401K from State Bank. So really we are still ok...its just kinda of nerve wracking with the not knowing. Plus we are moving in with Chase's parents just for a couple months (at the end of June) so that we can save some money. That way we will be completely out of credit card debt! We didn't have too much left but it will be nice to be fully cleared from it!

And of course it was a pleasure to turn in Chase's two week notice just to stick it in their faces! What jerks! They pretty much told Chase and the others that they would find spots for them a couple months back but they just had to work out the numbers but it looked like they all were ok. So pretty much what they have been doing is telling them what they want to hear so that they all don't quit and leave them hanging since the branch doesn't close down until the end of June. Pretty much covering their own backs while leaving those working there (with families to support) hanging. Luckily we saw it for what it was worth and hitailed it out of there ASAP.

The only problem with getting this other job is that we won't have health insurance until he finds another job. That really scares me since I believe everyone should ALWAYS have health insurance. Jayda will still be covered under medicaid until the end of June when we need to reapply (which I'm positive that we will qualify again). And to pay for just health insurance without a job is like $500-1200 a freaking month! WITH a $10,000 out of pocket. Crazy! BUT we are going to look into me getting on my parent's insurance just until Chase finds a job because if I don't remember correctly you can still be on your parent's health insurance until you turn 26 regardless of whether you are a dependent or not (thank you Obama hehe). The sad part though is that adoption is most likely out for the time being because one of the qualifications is that you have to be able to provide health insurance for the new child which at the moment we can't really do. But I had to wait anyways til I'm "officially" deemed inferitle. So its not like it will add too much time. I think we are going to still go to the adoption orientation though and still gather some information. This really makes me want to push through and get school done even more though so that I can go out and get a "real" job and Chase can be a stay at home dad....haha that should be funny! He would LOVE that!

I just have a feeling everything will work out the way its supposed to. It's kind of exciting having all these changes happening but scary at the same time! Either way I know it will all work out! :) Plus I can't wait to move away from these idiots upstairs that are so freaking loud and it sounds like they beat their kids up upstairs.....not really but the way one of their kids screams it makes it sound like he is being burned alive.... not cool.