There it is...it just sucked. I woke up this morning feeling exhausted...I hate mornings like that. But I had to motivate myself and got dressed and went to the gym. Usually after I work out I feel energized and ready to take on the day. Today wasn't that day. You know those days that you just want to sit and eat a bunch of crap? That was me today. I don't know if I am just PMSing or what since my period is due on Thursday or Friday but I just felt so low. I logged into facebook today to find someone ELSE was pregnant. I think everyone is pregnant but me. Wah wah right? Well if you don't like my complaining then you can stop reading my posts because this is therapy for me so you can just hit the road.....jack... :) I know I'm such a lovely person to be around today, aren't I?
I'm thinking about taking a break from it all. From BBC and deactivating my account on facebook. It's all just a lot for me right now and I think that it would help my relationship with my husband more. I seem to either A. be on the computer or B. depressed about seeing another person drop to the disease I want so badly. So I think that might help. I think Zuckerburg created facebook to slowly ruin my life. That and make unfertile people feel like crap.
I hate to say it but today it was one of those days that I couldn't help but disect every symptom. One minute I think "for sure I am pregnant" and then the next I'm like "there's no way I am". I wanted to keep myself busy by doing things but I was just so gosh dang tired! And then its like torture. I've decided I am going to wait til my AF is late though before I test because I am SO sick of seeing negatives and finding any possible light in the house that could show any "possible" line thats just a figment of my imagination. Those test companies REALLY had me going there for awhile....they know how crazy one can get and they LOVE it.
Luckily tomorrow my husband has the day off so I'm going to get my one hour massage and my pedicure!! Yeah! Hopefully that will take the edge off!
Good luck! I think all of last week were "that" kind of a day for me. I know what you mean about facebook though, I need a break from it too!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I always got the dollar store tests, they are what the hospital uses so I just started using them instead of expensive ones.
I agree with the dollar store tests. I used a dip in pee test. I think they are just as accurate.
ReplyDeleteBut onto other stuff. (((hugs))) for you girl. You do what you need to do. I think a break could be good for you. I agree, facebook has it's good qualities but mostly it just sucks you in.
(((hugs))) I have those days too. DH and I are on week 2 of a two week break, and the break has deffinetly helped. I've had numerous breakdowns, sleepless nights, bitter feelings, you name it. It sucks when it seems the pre-requisite for getting pregnant is to be an addict in an abusive relationship with no job, home, or insurance. Some days are harder than others, but do whatever you need to do to get through them. Cry it out and eat chocolate if you need to, that's what I do=) I wish you all the best=)
ReplyDeleteI love that you are so real. Sometimes its hard to really say whats going on inside, but I tell you what every time I am feeling bad its nice to know that there are other people out there that have things in their life that aren't perfect too! Here's to life's imperfections!!! :)
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