Friday, January 13, 2012

This is it....

I bet you thought I meant "it" it. Nope. Hell to the no.

So I feel a bit overwhelmed. I find myself shaking and my heart racing most of the day. Perhaps I've caught the anxiety bug from my hubby. Luckily it has nothing to do with TTC. I've pretty much lost hope on that home front. I got my p4 lab today and I just don't give a crap what the level is (ok I do but this month I'm not checking and re-checking online every 30 min to see if its posted).

I'm starting my LAST semester of school before I graduate with my bachelors in Psychology. I feel a lot of pressure to do well since this is it. And me being the smart person that I am left all the harder classes for my last semester. Not necessarily harder but just more work than other courses. AND I'm taking an additional class for the hell of it. It's not really a class but a practicum for 3 credits. Why you ask? To get my full 12 credits so that I can get my full grant. The left over grant money helps so much with bills. Thank you Obama, you rock my world!

This semester I have my senior project which I am super stoked about. I don't have all the kinks worked out but I plan on doing an applied project that incorporates a community support group for women with infertility, miscarriages, preemies, stillborns, etc. Then on top of it I have to write a 25 page writeup of the proposal. Kill me now.

Then for my research class I have to make a research proposal. Again, I plan to make a proposal to research women who suffer from infertility and m/c's in our community. I want to propose that we get a sample of 100 women in the community that have suffered a miscarriage in the last year or two to be apart of the study. We then compare those that have talked to someone and had a social support system and those that don't. Then see who's stress levels are higher. Obviously we need to figure out a way to make that possible but thats the skeletal idea at this point. I believe it has to be 20 pages as well. Why did you not kill me yet?

For my practicum I have to read two books. One of which I already have (The boy who was raised as a dog by Bruce Perry and a Neuroscience book). Then my teacher wants me to plan a seminar to present to a group of teachers on children's trauma and how it effects their brain development and essentially the way they learn and act in school. Then I have to go to one day of her Family Mental Health class every week and write a thought paper every week on what I learned to put into application.

Finally, the one I am most of all scared of is Statistics of Psychology. Why you ask? It's math and excel related. Two of the worst things invented. I not only have the hardest psych professor who thouroughly enjoys tricking you on exams and making you feel like a douche for asking "idiotic" questions but we also have to do lab assignments that I have heard come striaght from the depths of hell.

All in all if I'm not dead by the end of the semester it will be a shock for sure.

But I wouldn't have it any other way. It's just my nature to take on too much at any given point. Bring it on.

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