Friday, December 16, 2011

How we spent our 4 year anniversary....

Well it wasn't as I'd hoped but I guess we were still...err.. together?

Chase had a major panic attack last night and I took him to the ER. He couldn't breath, his heart was beating like crazy, he was crying hysterically (and if you know my hubby he never cries, the last time I saw him cry was the night I was admitted to the hospital), he was shaking uncontrollably, and just looked in bad shape. The ER was pretty busy but they took him straight back. This nice old lady who was a volunteer got some ice and started rubbing it over his neck and face. She took his mind off of it by talking about illegal immigration and how they were ruining America.

Then they took us back to a room and they gave him a shot of aderal. That calmed him waaaay down, but unfortunately that should only be during very severe episodes. So its not a cure all and is highly addictive.

I know I have never talked about it here but my hubby has always had anxiety. Pretty bad but nothing compared to the last couple of weeks (starting about the day I did my HSG). He hasn't even been able to leave the house really. If I force him to come with me to the grocery store to just get out we end up on the side of the road and he starts to throw up he is so anxious about it. Its been really stressful for the both of us because I can't really go anywhere without this happening and he just feels awful because he doesn't know what is causing it.

Finally I said thats it we have to go to the ER and figure this out. I broke down and he broke down. My SIL came and got Jayda to stay at my inlaws for the night. Then we headed to the ER. My inlaws came down to the ER and so did my parents. My FIL and dad gave him a priesthood blessing which I think helped a lot too. I think it helped to know that they were there to support him.

He's already on medication and that doesn't seem to be helping. No surprise there since meds can't fix everything. So we set up an appt with a therapist that comes highly recommended by one of my good friends. He didn't have anything until next Wednesday but he talked to him earlier yesterday and said he needed to exercise 30 min a day and go to work no matter what. Not for the money but just to get out and be with people. He hasn't been to work in almost a week because he literally has an anxiety attack everytime he goes to leave. Might be time for me to look for a job.

So yesterday when I came back from school (last day yeahh couldnt be better timing) he hadn't exercised and didn't want to come with me to the store. Jayda was crying her head off and I had to go get some things. I was so frustrated that he wouldn't even try what the therapist told him to do. So I told him he needed to come with me to the store just to get out. He ended up staying in the car about to puke except he couldn't even puke because he hasn't been eating at all. He had a 1/2 piece of bread and a tortilla yesterday. The day before crackers he could hardly keep down. He's lost 10-15lbs in the last two weeks.

I'm just so worried for him and I don't know what to do for him. He joked after he got his aderal that he's just giving me on the job training since I'm going to school to be a therapist. Anxiety is SO real and I just wish I could take it all away from him.


  1. (Hugs) I'm so sorry, my brother deals with anxiety as well, along with a host of other mental issues, and its awful. I really hope you are you are both able to get something figured out and get him some help. Let me know if there is anything I can do, and feel free to vent anytime.

  2. Okay, sorry you don't know me. And well I don't know you besides the blog...but I follow you since I used to live in the same city and looked up fellow city people one day a few years ago!

    Anyway, I had reeeeeally bad anxiety after I gave birth 2 years ago. I used medicine and what not...but I didn't want to have to be on meds. My MIL suggested to try magnesium chloride "oil". People usually don't have enough of the right kind of magnesium...this one is topical. It's supposed to help with so many things...and anxiety is one of them. (Tofu has magnesium in it, as does I think certain nuts...but lots of stuff doesn't have enough I believe.) So this is topical and depending on your weight you use less sprays. You'll know if you use too much because it comes out as diarrhea LOL. No not funny. Haha. You basically can't have "too much" because your body will naturally get rid of it. He looks like he might need about 4 or 5 sprays maybe. I use three. It seriously helps. If not "really", at least mentally I feel like I'm taking something and it should work.'s a link to the one I take...
    I spray it on my legs. But...if you ever use it...don't spray it on after you shave your legs. Trust me. You'll feel the burn. It's "harmless" though.
    I hope it helps. Because I felt like it did for me. And every now and then when I'm feeling anxious I'll use it and feel better.

  3. Ashley (and Chase) I am so sorry! That would have been so scary! For years I've dealt with similar things and when I was 18/19 I tried several different medications for it and wasn't pleased with the results. The past few years I have found a lot of natural treatments that have worked miracles. If you're interested in any of those, or referrals to natural health doctors in town that could help let me know. (you can email me... but if not that's totally cool, just thought I'd offer).

    Happy Late Anniversary though! You two are such a cute couple!