Saturday, December 17, 2011

I confess my sins

Ok I'll come out and say it. One of my biggest guilty pleasures is everytime I go to the store as I am checking out I always look out of the corner of my eye at the gossip mags to see if there is anything good. If there is I usually bolt over and pick it up. And I usually hear a big sigh from my husband. He never lets me buy them but sometimes I pick one up when he's not there. Usually he see's it and just rolls his eyes. When he is a woman he'll understand.

This is what I picked up the other day. When I confessed my sin to my husband I claimed I needed a pick me up. To which he replied "Well Khloe is big she could definatly pick you up." I think he's been watching too much "The Soup".

This was right next to this mag. Awful.

Then I began to wonder how Khloe felt having it all out there like that. How vulnerable it is to be in the public eye with all that pressure on you and negative people out there telling her she is just a jealous person when they have no idea what they are talking about. I know I feel pressure just from family and friends I couldn't imagine people I didn't even know putting pressure on me like that. I wonder how as she is gearing up for IVF how she feels about her sister....truly feels.

Obviously she is happy for her like any good sister would be. But how inside she feels to know that she still can't produce her own child and her sister is moving on without her. Especially with such an unstable relationship she has with Scott whe Khloe and Lamara are rock solid.

One day I'm going to have a serious chit chat with God and ask him whats up with that?

But its a wierd feeling. Its like half your heart is happy and half of it is sad. I guess we will find out when her new season arrives and its centered around her infertility.

But I do commend her for shutting out the negativity. I admit at first its easy to get involved with it because you care what people think of you but eventually it just wears you down and you just need to ignore the naysayers and focus on the positive people in your life. You can go round and round all day long worrying about what people think about you and try to correct them when you know they have you wrong but what good does that do? Typically they have their ears closed to anything you have to say anyways and already "know what they know"so really its all just a waste of breath. I think it is admirable that she is so open and honest about it. Its so hard to be out with it because then you get the negativity when you are completely honest about your feelings and it hurts others when it wasn't intended to. The fact is 1 in 8 women (about the same liklihood it is of having a preemie) deal with infertility and it would be a disservice to them to just have to shut their mouths about it and internalize their feelings because some of them are ugly. So go Khloe for centering a whole show around it! Holy cow I'm so glad I'm not in your shoes! Phew.

Can't wait!

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