Living Life. Being myself. Being true to who I am through the ups and the downs of life.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
So my hubby is still in bad shape. He just isn't well. He has his good days but he really is just struggling. So yesterday we sat down and I told him that I think its a good idea that we skip this next cycle to maybe relieve some stress since I think Chase is just as stressed as I am at not getting pregnant. And that breaks my heart.
But I think we both need to get back to what life should be like. The kind where its not revolved around TTC. I feel like I am repeating the words of a couple of other bloggers right now since it feels like everyone is taking a break. It's so hard to make that decision since I know it most likely won't happen (if I even ovulate at all) and I'm at my most fertile right after an hsg. But we need to get him better and perhaps even me as well. I know its just going to drag it on but I guess no one can ever say I didn't just fully let God do his thang. Which is so hard to do.
I'm due on Christmas Eve (Happy Holidays Ashley!) for my period and I'm 99% sure that its going to come since I just know my body that well. My progeterone symptoms are already starting to slip away and thats a first sign for me. Sigh. But I'm just going to start focusing on being healthy again. Since starting to actively TTC I have really gotten off the bandwagon. I guess I'm just afriad that overexercising could really damage something (totally irrational I know) and I've been eating crappy out of stress and depression I think. So I need to get that back on track too.
It's such a sucky decision and I'm trying to fight it with all my heart but I know that its the right thing to do. For both of our mental healths.
It shouldn't be a long break (hopefully) but I definatly think at least a month or two. A month or two of pure faith and letting go.